Norman

Let me tell you a story: NORMAN
While I was on dialysis (three times a week). I sat next to an older gentleman named Norman. Norman was 83 years old and was a dialysis patient for almost 30 years. He was my lifeline, the one who taught me how to “beat the machine”, that I should work to keep my sanity. Even when thinking I couldn’t, he justified it by saying, “I’ve been on dialysis for all these years and I hardly missed a day of doing work”. One day Norman informed me he had cancer……………
I said; “Okay, you will beat this!” He needed to make it through because I needed Norman to live for my mental well being. He said; ” No, I am not going to fight it for I’ve been blessed with a long life and I am not doing dialysis anymore.” “Its time for me to go.” I remember crying like a baby begging him to get the treatments and not coming off dialysis. Norman was my “rock”, and I feared without him I would not make it. He went on to tell me; “You can do it, beat this machine!” “I taught you well.” ?. Norman went into the hospital, stopped dialysis and within 5 days died. That was the worst week of my life. I lost my mentor, my rock, my best friend. I remember going to dialysis and seeing Norman’s empty chair next to me. I really missed him……. One day a woman my age was placed in Norman’s chair. I must admit I felt some resentment against her because she was sitting in Norman’s chair! I did not speak to her, maybe because out of anger of Normans passing. The woman and I shared a television and without asking, she change the channel which “stupidly” amplified my resistance to her. One day she looked over and asked; “How do you do this?!” “I have children and don’t feel I can live on this machine?!” I looked over to her as Norman once did to me and said: “Yes, you can. I’ll teach you how to beat the machine.” I unknowingly became her mentor, her rock, her friend, her Norman. That’s when I came to realize Norman was not gone, Norman was in me.