My Mantra

I had much time while on dialysis to “think”. I was finding myself getting depressed until I heard a speech. I rewrote it and used it as my mantra.

Pain no matter how long it lasts is only temporary

I will conquer the disease that has not been conquered

I will strive to go beyond my physical and mental limitations

Irregularities will not be an acceptable hindrance
I will believe in myself even when others doubt
I will always help, honor, and gain the respect of my peers
I have conditioned my mind and my body will follow
…I REFUSE 2B FEEBLE

Fear will not be in my voice
I will stay driven despite the odds
I will always give praise to God, stay humble and respect my staff of experts
I have trained my mind and my body will follow
…I REFUSE 2B FEEBLE

I will acknowledge the fact; odds don’t expect me to win
But I will never just lay down and die
Numbers are no match against my will
Self pity will not be in my heart
I will look to my God, medical staff, supporters, family and my seed
And I will draw strength from them
…I REFUSE 2B FEEBLE

I will gladly go out into the field of treatment
And I will do chemo, dialysis, diet, surgeries and everything I can do
And I will enter my treatments with no thoughts of fear
And while I go through this, I will sit with confidence. I will defeat the illness that entered my body and leave it a distant memory because it can’t stop me
…I REFUSE 2B FEEBLE

To my side I have family and friends who witness my hardships
Ones that have been with me when I was fit and feeble
Through sickness, through surgeries, through pain, through tears
Never will I let them see me fall and not attempt to get up
Never will I let them see me depressed day after day
And I will never let my illness keep me from achieving my goals
Because my illness does not know my heart
…I REFUSE 2B FEEBLE

No sickness will deny me
No illness will defy me
And no one will tell me who and what I am and can be
Belief will change my world
It has moved continents, and countries, and put man on the moon
And like David vs. Goliath it will carry me through my battles
…I REFUSE 2B FEEBLE

Disabled, death those are not words I use
I don’t understand those definitions
I don’t understand can’t
I don’t understand self doubt, pity
But I do understand this
I understand God and I understand never giving up
No matter how bad things go
My heart and my mind will carry my body when my limbs are too weak
Defeat and acceptance those are not in my words
…I REFUSE 2B FEEBLE

TODAY will be that day
Not tomorrow, not next week, but right now, right here, its my body and my life
…I REFUSE 2B FEEBLE

Life will remember me
And I’ll not weep because for me it was harder or unkind
I’ll set new standards for myself
I’ll write my own praises
And no one will tell me what I can and cannot be
I will never leave this earth not without giving everything I’ve got

I REFUSE 2B FEEBLE

I REFUSE 2B FEEBLE

I REFUSE 2B FEEBLE