Tuesday was my first day of treatment. Even though I have been here before, I admit I was a bit nervous. However, to my surprise, I was greeted in the waiting room with hugs. Jody was first, not saying a word, but her embrace said it all (I’m sorry, I’m happy to see you, I’m here for you). And she was not the only one. In a weird way, I was back home. I was weighed, had my height and blood pressure checked and was covered with blankets to keep me comfortable. Next, two large needles were inserted into my arm and I watched the blood move from my body to the machine. The sting of the insertion was like a fire to my body and I was truly thankful….
One must understand that dialysis to me is like a forest fire. When you are in the forest, trees and vines continue to grow without being disturbed. This persistent growth causes other plants and trees to be choked off and it becomes difficult for them to receive sunlight. Eventually, vegetation dies leaving a forest of rotting trees. But then, nature enables a fire to start. This wall of destruction destroys everything in its wake (so we think). However, what actually happens is a cleansing. The fire destroys all the choking overgrowth. After the fire, you see nothing but charred remains of what was an impassable forest of out of control growth. But, if you look closely, beyond the destroyed remains, you will see new growth springing forward. The fire has made room for new life to emerge, a new beginning. Without the fire, the “new growth”, the “new beginning” would have never come forth. The fire has a cleansing benefit.
So is the fact of the needles being plunged into my arm. The needles and machine are my fire destroying all the overgrowth in my body. The overgrowth of toxins and pain. In time, you will see “new growth” and the charred remains will be that of the past.
The machine removed a large portion of fluid from my body, because my kidney is not putting out much urine. I noticed that my breathing is not so labored. My steps are getting faster and not the slow painstaking movements I had before. For the first time in over a month, I feel like working out. The cleansing power of the fire, not that of destruction.
One must learn to bask in the fire. For the same force of destruction will clear the way for a new beginning and the ability to keep us warm.
Hebrews 12:28-29 “Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire.”